Tuesday, april 6th

Dear diary, today I met my husbands handmaid, I hate them all so much, why do they get to sleep with MY husband, I'm just as good as she is, I Am good enough to have a baby. Well this one seemed ok, it really got on my nerves how she called me ma'am though, am I really that old? I sat her down and told her the rules of my house, besides in my house I am powerless, so I made it very clear I am the one she resorts too. I told her I would be civil with her, but if she gives me trouble, I will give it back.I know I am going to hate seeing her everyday. I hope she and my husband hate eachother. I do not want to deal with him liking her. Oh no, what If he ends up liking her more then me? Ugh, I hate all of this. I want to be able to have sex with my husband, get pregnant, and be a mom and raise MY child. I wonder if I could be my husband and my husbands only handmaid, .... If only. Well now I must sleep, I hope that dream stays away tonight, I can't deal with more.